01/01/18 - Transition (and some personal reflections)

1 January 2018

Deck: Connected and Free, The Alchemist's Oracle from Inner Hue
Some transitions are motivated by a need or desire while others seem to occur more organically, and you may not even be sure why or what you are transitioning into! Either way, major shifts rarely come without an element of chaos (or struggle). 

The image on today's Oracle card suggests you're currently undergoing a major shift or metamorphosis. It would appear that you're already through the worst, or soon will be, as the wings have already hatched. Of course, you may not have a clue what to do with them, or even what they are. All you can do is to trust in the process - when the time is right, you'll know how to spread them and to fly. 
Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? - Rumi 
This feels like a very fitting card for the beginning of a new year. 

Personally, 2017 was a year of major shifts. I have already written (several times) how I feel almost completely changed in ways that would be imperceptible to those who don't know me very well. Like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, the changes were away from sight, involving dissolution (of the old) and a kind of reformation - which sounds dramatic but feels quite accurate. I went into the year feeling weighed down and dissatisfied. I really didn't have any sense of who I was outside of the labels 'mother', 'wife' and so on. I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't go on as I was. My journal from last January describes how I felt: "Tired. Heavy. Stiff." 

Things feel so different just one year on. Physically, I feel better than I have for years, and without taking painkillers, wine or the copious caffeine that I used to rely on - these days it's Reiki and decaf tea! Emotionally, I'm in a completely different place. My close relationships are so much more authentic and nourishing, which seems to be in direct correlation to the amount of soul-searching and self-care I've been practicing. I won't lie, it's taken a lot of work so far and it's surely not over yet. As I dealt with things that were causing blocks, so much fear and anger came up and had to be released. Plus it hasn't been fun to let go of ideas and beliefs that underpinned who I thought I was, for so long.  Opening my mind to other possibilities has often been challenging, and it's still an ongoing process. I still don't know how to put it all into words and can totally relate to the creature with newly formed wings, wondering how they work and whether they can be completely trusted to hold me up.
Transformation isn't sweet and bright. It's a dark and murky, painful pushing. An unravelling of the untruths you've carries in your body. A practice in facing your own created demons. A complete uprooting before becoming. - Victoria Erickson
Collectively, I see that so many others have likened the last two years as a time of metamorphosis - on both an individual and communal level. In fact, I've seen the following words ALL over social media:

Things are surely shifting and I'm excited to see what 2018 will bring. How is this showing up in your life? 

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