Letting Go of Expectations

Monday, 7 August 2017

I spent the weekend visiting relatives in my home town (roughly a four-hour drive away) with my kids. It was really lovely... apart from the constant rain, the driving, and having to be confined to a single hotel room in the evenings. Don't get me wrong, my children are both great. Just not together. They don't get on especially well, and that's never more evident than when they are together for any length of time - in this case, for 48 hours. 

The Empress from the Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot* / US Games.
The Empress has been showing up a lot lately - I even wrote an Empress Spread. She popped up as my theme for the month of August too, so I was determined to harness her energy on this trip - to be a nurturing 'earth mother', to embody harmony and grace, with a peaceful and calm demeanour. Needless to say, this lasted about three and a half hours of driving through intermittent rain showers, on a busy motorway, with the kids arguing (over everything) in the back seat.

After dinner, we checked into the hotel for the evening and I pulled three cards from Healing Light Tarot. I chose them as the 'daily theme' but really it was just an excuse to shuffle, which I usually find comforting and calming. This card stock is a bit slippery and I'm a sloppy shuffler, so it wasn't quite as relaxing as I'd hoped, but I digress. The cards I pulled were very apt.
Page of Wands, Chariot & High Priestess from Healing Light Tarot by Christopher Butler / Lo Scarabeo.

Rather than being the Empress, I'd been the Chariot. Literally driving the car, but also being pulled between (and trying to steer!) my fiery temperamental/ hormonal son and my daughter, who is younger but much more worldly-wise and very emotionally intelligent.

For the rest of the weekend, I took a much more literal 'Empress' approach and got them outside as much as possible - between rain and hail showers. Getting outside gave the kids a chance to run around and let off some steam in the fresh air. It also gave me the opportunity to catch up on my studies and 'morning pages'¹. It was a shame I didn't have the Wildwood Tarot with me, as it would have been perfect for reading amongst the trees. 

Page of Pentacles from The Original Rider Waite Tarot / US Games. 

Being outdoors certainly helped a lot, but it didn't stop all of the conflict between the kids. By Saturday evening we were all exhausted and a bit fraught with one another. I vowed not to take them away together again without my husband, and started to fret about them being 'confined' together in the villa we've hired for our main family holiday later this month. I was feeling disappointed that I hadn't lived up to my parenting goals, something I'm definitely feeling more as the family grows and I'm less 'in control' of things. (Learning to let go is another recurring theme in recent readings.)

As much as I loved seeing my family, it was really good to get home and for everyone to have their own space again - a way to take a break from one another. With the kids both off doing their own thing, I put my feet up, my husband poured me a glass of wine, and I pulled the most perfect advice card from Wisdom of the Oracle.
Time for a Nap from Wisdom of the Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid / Hay House.
This is a time to step away and rest. Let the cares of your world go. Go into a state of non-action, and allow yourself to be free of the shackles of your goals, your lists, your desires. Nothing is as important as rest, detachment, and neutrality. The overly busy mind can block you from inner wisdom if you don't step back, take a seat, and rest. 
I don't need telling twice. Today, I shall mostly be pootling about the house and letting go of my expectations.
*Amazon affiliate links are included in this post. 
¹ A daily exercise from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - read more here

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